Now that you’re at your forty-fifth birthday,
Your hair is starting to go away.
You’re aching back seems much more old,
You can’t read menus unless they’re bold.
More often now you say “speak up!”
It’s true, you’re no longer a young pup.
But with age they say you grow wise,
You’re just one of those old wise guys!
Happy 45th Birthday, Wise Guy!
—
How does one ever know they’re old?
Well, my friend here are some hints:
When people offer to help you out
With reading signs at which you squint;
Others might ask to assist
With lifting up heavier loads;
And maybe someone gives you directions
When you can’t remember names of roads;
Or maybe they ask if you would like
Them to help you get your yard clear.
You might not be old, but let them go,
Kick back, and relax with another beer.
Happy 45th Birthday!
—
When you age people start to treat
You differently when you first meet.
They won’t expect your handshake to be
As firm as the one they’ll actually see.
Instead of asking where the party’s at,
They’ll ask about mortgages and things like that.
Some people might think they’re so funny,
Making “old fart” jokes like such dummies.
But the smart ones can see how you thrive
At this not-so-old age of forty-five!
Happy Birthday to a guy who’s 45 Years Young!
—
People might make all sorts of jokes
On your birthday about you getting old.
They’ll ask you about all sorts of things,
How to clean dentures, where Viagra’s sold.
They might ask if your hearing aid’s on,
Because some people might be ignorant,
But they don’t see the memories you’ve made
Of all the crazy youth days you spent.
I was there, though, to see you through
Some of those days oh so crazy,
And I’ll be here to see you through
Now that you’re old, fat, and lazy!
As your friend I’m going to crack jokes,
And hope your sense of humor did survive,
Unlike your hair or rock hard abs,
As today you’re turning forty-five!
Happy 45th Birthday!
—
You wake up with a crick in your neck,
You go down the stairs and your leg cramps,
You see the gray hairs starting to grow,
Because you’re getting old now, Gramps!
But don’t think this is the end of your fun,
Older people have it pretty darn great!
For starters you can say “Respect your elders,”
Anytime someone starts throwing hate.
You also start getting senior discounts,
And who doesn’t love saving cash.
You’re old enough to be known as wise,
But you’re young enough to kick some ass!
Yes, there’s a lot of great things
About being middle-aged and alive,
So I hope you truly do celebrate
Today as you turn forty-five!
Happy Birthday!
—
How do you know you’re old? Let me count the ways!
For starters your language changes and you start to use the phrase
“I remember way back when,” or “Oh, those sure were the days!”
You’ll start noticing changes in your body as this phase
Starts to set in firmly, changing forever your ways.
You might start to understand some of your father’s craze.
Your memory might start to be blurry, or haze.
And you remember all of the other forty-four birthdays!
Happy 45th Birthday, Old Man!