59th Birthday Wishes


At 59 you continue to shine
Better sit down and have some wine
Enjoy the last year of your 50s; don’t pine
Next decade you’ll still be doing fine

If you can make it to 59,
Take it as a very good sign
So I drink to your health,
And here’s to more wealth!

59 is upon you and look at you now!
Make all your friends wonder how, just how
You’re still rarin’ to go and ready for more
So grab your partner. Hit the dance floor!

It happened, it’s here
It really is your 59th year
Buy a bottle of something good
And party like an old person should!

See those whippersnappers over there?
Show them you’ve got it like you don’t care!
Dance the night away and then drink up,
Morning will prove you’re no longer a pup!

Hello 59, I’ve come to claim you
I’m taking you on, and what can you do?
Nothing, that’s what–it’s all for real,
And now I must complete my spiel-
Make it a good year so I can move on
To the 60s when I will bask on the lawn

Oh, 59, how do I love thee?
Let me count the ways
The sagging skin?
The three crowns on my teeth?
The extra body hair?
The aching joints?
I give up, 59. I do not love thee,
No I do not. I reserve the right to
Enjoy many a shot
So go away and forget about me
I’ll live in denial and no one will see.

Come celebrate my year 59
I guarantee I’ll snivel and whine.
I’ll cry in my beer
and shed many a tear.
Bring bottled gifts
to distract me from this
and keep me alive to
do it for you!

59 is my real age this banner year
No matter how awful it is to hear
I’m still alive and thinking young
So why am I feeling so very “wrung?”
I need pills to stay well
and truth to tell
I go slower and slower
and my speed is much lower
I might as well go out in a blaze
and party hearty the rest of my days!

Who is that person in the mirror there?
If 59 looks like this now
It means saggy skin and graying hair
It happened so fast and still somehow
There are signs of life and a bit of hope
For continuing parties and liquid relief
Don’t leave me alone to sit and mope
Let me think I’m still a fresh green leaf

Life is a blur, then you’re 59
Lookin’ good and feelin’ fine
Don’t be blue and sorrowful
Embrace your age and keep your cool
Stay young in your head
Go paint the town red!

39 sounds good
59 is so dire
Think, if you would
How to re-light the fire
I’ll own it this time
with some gin and a lime

Don’t light the candles at 59
A nice little cake will do just fine
Why risk burning down the place?
I’m content to stuff my face.

59 is a very high number
It could be a giant bummer
Drink up old person.