I’m pretty sure that the people who decided that 40 was the new 30 were all celebrating their 40th birthday while cruising on an ocean liner somewhere on “De Nile”.
Happy 40th Birthday
—
On the subject of turning forty
There are things that will always be true
It the time of a man’s life
When he discovers there are things he can’t do
There is no need to do worry
This is just one of nature’s ways
Of telling a middle aged man
It’s time to relax and remember younger days
Happy 40th Birthday
—
They say life begins when you’re forty. I say it begins with birth.
Happy 40th Birthday
—
It’s time for your mid-life crisis
For a little red corvette and crazy tattoo
It’s time to check out the bar scene
And do what a young man would do
You can expect to start acting silly
Unpredictable in so many ways
It’s time for capitulation of the good boy
After living fourteen thousand six hundred days
Your fortieth birthday is the starting gate
In a race to recapture your youth
But I expect by the time of your next birthday
You will begin to realize the truth
There’s a grace that comes with forty
Something we should all look forward to
So while you go re-sow your wild oats
We will all be waiting for you
Happy 40th Birthday
—
At ten, they call you cute as a button
At twenty, they call you a stud
At thirty, they call you distinguished
At forty, they just stop calling you
Happy 40th Birthday
—
The most amazing thing about turning forty is that it defies the laws of science. It proves that as you approach the top of the hill, everything starts picking up speed. When you go over the hill, everything starts slowing down.
Happy 40th Birthday
—
During the ages of 10-19, desire exceeds knowledge and ability
During the ages of 20-29 desire and ability exceeds knowledge
During the ages of 30-39 desire, knowledge and ability work in perfect synchronicity
At age forty, desire disappears, knowledge gets interrupted and ability goes on vacation
Happy 40th Birthday
—
Five things to be thankful for on your fortieth birthday:
Thankful that your hair lasted as long as it did
Thankful that your not forty one
Thankful that 40 is the new thirty
Thankful for the age discrimination laws
Thankful for the thoughtful soul who invented Cialis
Happy 40th Birthday
—
If life begins at forty, then why do hair follicles start dying?
If life begins at forty, then why do teeth start decaying?
If life begins at forty, then why does the skin start to wrinkle?
If life begins at forty, then why do the eyes go blurry?
If life begins at forty, then why does the brain stop functioning properly?
Wouldn’t you love to beat the crap out of the person who decided life begins at forty?
Happy 40th Birthday
—
Forty is that wonderful time in life when you spend a whole year wishing you were twenty.
Happy 40th Birthday
—
Don’t worry too much about the things you can no longer do at age forty. There are going to be many more in the years to come.
Happy 40th Birthday