Funny Birthday Wishes for 55 Year Old Woman

Though you’re sad you’re getting older
(Those gray hairs are here to stay)
Thought I’d just come and remind you
Sixty is not too far away

It seems I might be in a bind
A pressing question on my mind:
Now that you’re far out over the hill
Have you finally put me in your will?

Getting older is such a bore
Do you even count the years anymore?
If it hurts you to the core
Just know you could still pass for 54

I can’t believe it’s come so soon
Already 55, what a riot
I’m glad I’m so much younger
About your age, I’ll keep it quiet

Each new birthday brings new cheers
Parties, gifts and happy faces
The difference is now you wake up
With your body parts in different places

Aging was never meant to be fun
But after all is said and done
Everything turns out just fine
Only with more wrinkles and lines

The perfect gift for which I looked
With so much care and thought
Even after all the time it took
This card was all I bought

So much joy and anticipation
As your day draws closer near
I’m still waiting for the invitation
To the party you had last year

I sort of forgot your birthday
Even still I hope it’s great
I also hope you don’t mind
That your gift is two days late

At 55 years old you’ve had so much time to learn
While you may be proud of that age
I’m dreading my own turn

After all the waiting
Your birthday is finally here
My favorite part about that is
I actually remembered this year

Celebrating your 55th year
May your birthday be divine
I wanted to wish you love and joy
(Now make sure you don’t forget mine)

There’s nothing wrong with aging
It’s just a number, who cares?
We have so much planned for—
Wait, is that a gray hair right there?

The grandkids tried to buy a gift
And after all that we had done
We pulled together all our money
And could only afford a homemade one

The 50s are the 40s of today
At least that’s all the rage
You can be a decade younger!
But that still makes you middle aged

So much time to grow and thrive
Years gone right before my eyes
I recall back when you were 25
Only we were half the dress size

I hope that as you’ve aged
You’ve become a regular sage
Otherwise it would probably have to sting
To be this old and not learn a thing

Choosing your gift was a task
That I attacked with passion and hunger
Oh, what was that you asked?
No, sorry I can’t make you any younger

I thought about what to buy you
Shoes? A necklace? A purse?
I know you don’t like getting older
But by this point, it can’t hurt much worse

I know you don’t like a fuss to be made
When you celebrate your special day
This works out really well because
I didn’t get a gift anyway