Turning sixty should be a crime,
It’s too hard to think of a birthday rhyme!
Your mid-life crisis is starting now,
Happy Birthday, buy a sports car, and take a bow!
See that hill way up on high?
Of course you don’t–it’s behind you–Happy Birthday, old guy!
Happy 60th, my old friend;
Retirement’s just ahead, around that bend!
As you’re reading this,
You’ll probably think,
Here’s another 60th Birthday wish–
I could use another drink!
But as a true friend, I’m positively delighted–
to make sure you don’t feel
in any way slighted!
So have a great celebration, my jovial pal–
signed, fondly, a real friend, and a great gal!
Sixty I’m told is a magical year,
To recount your decades, start a new chapter, and hold your friends dear.
Please be assured this is a special tradition,
To blow out some candles, eat some good food–that is your mission.
So raise your glass high in the air and always remember,
the fire of old age is borne out of youth’s ember!
Bonzai trees are always known
For their thin fragility and lightish tone
Like any delicate thing they’ll require some care
and now that you’re sixty that describes you too, you old bear!
Batman and Robin have long since told us
The night and day have a funny to way to mold us
As you got older you probably saw
Goodfellas and mobsters had their own draw
When you were a kid you dreamed of being such a hero
At sixty, I’m sure, you’ll outclass De Niro!
The first thing to do when you see your cake
is blow out some candles and dream of a nice steak
When you’re next in town I’ll assuredly make you feel like a winner
with Belated Happy Birthday wishes and a delicious dinner!
Everyone knows your rapier wit
Even those who’ve seen you just a bit
With your impending special day I just thought you should be told
That sixty, my friend, is not terribly old
Sure your hair may be graying (and thinning too!)
But if you ask me you’re still one heck of a guy!
I heard a rumor that my friend’s getting old
At sixty, they say, he still breaks the mold
So Happy Birthday my good man, you’re still shining through
With the pep of a fellow much younger than you!
When you turned fifty
writing you a note was pretty nifty
Even when you turned forty
I could rhyme “oh lordy,”
It was derivative sure as you probably know
with similar phrases on cards high and low
but now that you’re sixty I’m at a loss for words
The rhymes are getting harder, this stuff is for the birds!
Excuse me my friend
I think I’ve got something in my eye
You see I promised myself
I wasn’t going to cry
But as I sat down to write this
I shed a single tear
It’s sad to see you aging
Getting older and all
What with you six decades old
and me getting younger and more tall!
Your five cats my friend
Got nothin’ on you
At sixty you see
You’ve got whiskers too!