Funny Birthday Wishes for Nurses

I could fill infinite verses with affectionate birthday wishes for nurses.

Here is some tasty birthday grub, just make sure you keep it off of your scrubs.

Your profession is so sterile, yet it is filled with the deranged and feral. I’d just stick the sick in a barrel and put them upstream. You’re a better person than me, I gleam.

If I could be your proctor, I’d make you a doctor. Not because you’re a good nurse, but it’s your birthday and I’ve seen worse.

I heard a rumor that nurses have the sickest senses of humor. I hope that’s true because I brought you a birthday tumor.

Take a break from savings lives. I promise to still give you high fives. Really, I don’t care who dies or survives. Anyways, I stole all of the operating knives.

Birthday flu is the curse of a dedicated nurse. That, and vomit in her purse. Now, I wonder why they are all terse. Which one will the stress kill first?

It’s always fun starting: a nurse’s birthday party. Hopefully, I can get the keys to all of the pharmacies. Dose them all down the line, now the nurse will be working overtime.

You aren’t the best or the worst; that’s why you’re not a doctor and just a nurse.

I’ll let you keep my car if you just give me birthday CPR.

Oh nurse, I wish I knew how to please ya, but I just haven’t had enough anesthesia.

From the jaded look in your iris, it looks like you may finally succumb to the virus. That makes this birthday your direst.

Do you patients drink enough water? Did they take too much blotter, and have a son or a daughter? At least it all makes for good birthday fodder.

Thanks for helping with the extraction; I hope the procedure gave you some birthday satisfaction even if I went into traction. I know it was an unexpected reaction that divided the nurses into factions. Now, I get to watch all of the sexy cat fight action!

They always said nurses were great, but most of them are overweight. They’re supposed to be sexy, but I’ve never found it; instead, it’s just vexing to see them squeeze into the outfit.

I spent the entire day primping because I thought your nurse clothes would be skimpy.

I am so glad you aren’t a man, so I can enjoy when you clean my bed pan. I love when you turn around and bend, and I drink tons of water to fill it up again. Even on your birthday, you arrive without fail; but, I know today is special from the whale tail.

I hope I’m not an offender when I make reference to the nurse’s gender. Apparently, that’s a game ender. I wish I could return this slap to its sender, but she is already out on a birthday bender.

I’ve got a feeling, nurse, and the sexual healing cures. So, do you want to teach me birthday medicine, or have my dreams just been jettisoned?

Happy birthday nurse! I think my appendix just burst.